Is motherhood a soft skill?

Is motherhood a soft skill?

Do you ever feel that the concept of supporting mothers through motherhood doesn’t quite get taken seriously enough? That the people who choose to work with and for mothers somehow carry a little less weight, a little less credibility?

That personal trainers who choose to specialise in fitness for Mums are thought of as “Mummy trainers”, that lawyers who work in family law probably aren’t as smart as those working in international relations, that psychologists who support women through Post Natal Depression are “just a shoulder to cry on”, that a business coach who specialises in working with Mums who own a business is just a “Mumpreneur”, or that a physiotherapist who chooses to focus on postnatal rehabilitation probably couldn’t cut it in the sportsmed field?

I often feel there’s an undercurrent of this in today’s society – and the most frustrating thing for me, as an Occupational Therapist who works primarily with mothers, is the underlying assumption that there are better things I could be doing with my degree than “helping the Yummy Mummies”. Because the way I see it, this is the most important work I’ve done in my career so far.

At the beginning of my life as an occupational therapist, I worked in the field of vocational rehabilitation. My job involved supporting unemployed people with disabilities or injuries to find suitable and sustainable employment.

Part of the role was helping individuals figure out what their strengths were. This was often challenging, but at the same time immensely rewarding. Anyone who has been unemployed for a period of time would know how much it can impact your confidence and self esteem, and the people I was working with were often battling with the double whammy of long term unemployment and an injury which heavily affected their work capacity. Helping these people to identify their strengths was often difficult, because their confidence and self esteem had simply been eroded to the point of non-existence over a period of months, years, or even decades.
But it was always valuable work identifying strengths – because people always have strengths, even if they feel they don’t. Frequently we would classify these strengths into what we called “vocational skills” and “soft skills”. Vocational skills were those that were directly related to performing a paid job – such as does this person have a truck licence, can they use an excel spreadsheet, do they have a trade certificate? The soft skills were those skills or attributes a person possessed which weren’t specifically required for the job, but which would make them a valuable employee. For example – were they punctual, well presented, did they work well in a team environment, did they have a friendly and welcoming demeanour?

The comparative value of soft vs vocational skills has long been the subject of debate among human resource circles.

The irony is, while the soft skills are often thought less of, they are actually more important in a worker – because they better represent the true personality of potential employee. But because they don’t come with a certification or a parchment, they are often less valued and considered ‘nice to have’ but not as important as the ‘hard’ skills.

Sometimes I feel like motherhood gets treated like a ‘soft skill’ by our western society. Under appreciated and frequently disrespected.

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As a health professional working in this area, I’ll admit to initially feeling a little conflicted about choosing to focus my work in this area. How much support do Mums really need? Wouldn’t my time be better spent working with people who’ve had a stroke? Or children with autism? Or teenagers with spinal cord injuries? Or something else equally as altruistic?
Are mothers really in need of specialist rehabilitation or wellbeing support?

The short answer is yes.

When I began working with this population early in my motherhood journey I hadn’t experienced a broad range of the challenges and adversities that mothers frequently face. I had one lovely baby who fed well and slept 16 hours a day. I was truly blessed, I know that now. But around me I saw other mothers grappling with so many more difficulties than I had. Women struggling with postnatal depression, battling musculoskeletal injuries, raising children with life threatening illnesses or challenging behavioural conditions, or doing it all as a single mother. Often without much support, guidance or understanding from the broader community. The traits they demonstrated throughout motherhood included resourcefulness, negotiation, physical and emotional strength, resilience, amazing communication skills, delegation, scheduling, managing competing priorities – the list goes on. And sure – these skills too might be considered soft – but they’re not. Particularly not when they’re being implemented in the process of raising future generations.

It was then that I realised how much society treats motherhood as a soft skill. When in actuality – it’s one of the most challenging, multifaceted skills a person can possess.

From that point on I never again questioned my role in working with mothers. For me at this stage in my career, its where I feel I can have the greatest impact in my world, and the world that will one day belong to future generations.

So no, motherhood is not a soft skill. If you’re a mother please don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise. Whenever you start to feel disillusioned and perhaps unconvinced of the role you’re playing in this life, always remind yourself of the gravity of your role. You are creating, teaching and leading the future custodians of our world.

There’s nothing soft about that.

And if you’re a professional who supports women through the motherhood experience, please always know just how important and specialised your role is – don’t ever let anyone doubt you, your abilities, or your choice to work in this field.

Until next time,

Sarah

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What you should really spend your money on as a new Mum

What you should really spend your money on as a new Mum

Instagram has a lot to answer for.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m an Insta-fan. Between work and my personal life I actually have four different accounts, but that’s beside the point…

Because here’s my gripe. As a women’s health occupational Therapist who works primarily in the field of postnatal women, this is what I see:

Women spending a lot of money on cool, beautiful, on-trend stuff for their babies, and not a lot of money on their own wellbeing.

There I said it.

You may think I’m being harsh or insensitive, but I can guarantee you, there’s thousands of other antenatal health practitioners out there who agree with me. And we’re all wondering the same thing: “Do women truly value a beautiful nursery over their own health and wellbeing?”

I saw a Facebook post the other day which mentioned that the average cost of a wedding these days was $48,000. Forty. Eight. Thousand. Dollars!! That’s a whoooooooole lot more than I paid for my wedding nearly 8 years ago.

It made me wonder how much the average couple spend on setting up their home for a new baby – how much for the nursery, the pram, the car seat? Which is where my Instagram reference comes in. We see these beautiful nurseries, those gorgeous baby outfits, the extravagant baby showers – and we think we need them. Insta-envy is real – I know, I’m not immune. We get swept up in the romance of new parenthood, in the gorgeousness of it all.

But we don’t need that stuff. Your baby doesn’t need a $50 teething toy or a $200 tutu she will throw up on within 14 seconds. What we really need is to look after ourselves. And not just in a “popping-out-for-a-coffee-and-a-pedicure-mummy-me-time” kind of way, but in a “considered-practical-meaningful-evidence-based-longterm-wellbeing” kind of way.

So it makes me wonder – what would it take to convince women (and men) to take at least part of the money they might otherwise spend on beautiful baby stuff, and instead invest it into their future physical and emotional wellbeing?

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Those of us who work in this industry see the difficulties (and oftentimes devastation) that pregnancy and motherhood can wreak on a body and a mind.

We KNOW for certain, that our services can help. We see the life-altering loneliness of disconnected mothers, the silent shame of incontinence after birth, the unresolved trauma of a labour that didn’t go exactly to plan. We see all that. And we want to help. We know we can help. But we need you to pay for it.

It’s as simple as that. There’s not a single women’s health practitioner I know who wouldn’t gladly run oodles of free workshops, classes and sessions if she could. That’s why so many of us have blogs, YouTube channels, and free resources on our websites,  But the truth of that matter is that many of us are self-employed, or work in small private practices, and the reality of running a business is that you have to charge for your services. We have to charge to pay rent, pay for supplies, pay for our extensive clinical training, and of course pay ourselves a wage – because we also have families to feed and mortgages to pay.

And this is why we get frustrated. Because we know women need help, but we continually see them spending money on other things – other than their own wellbeing. We see women paying $1500 for prams, but not $500 for a hypnobirthing program. We see women buying $300 nappy bags, but not investing that same amount of money in a few physiotherapy sessions to help restore their pelvic floor function. We see women spend hundreds of dollars per term on baby swimming lessons or gymbaroo, rather than spending that exact same amount on a postnatal yoga or pilates class.

And it breaks our heart.

Truly it does. Seeing women neglect themselves and their own wellbeing is one of the biggest frustrations of our jobs. We don’t want to see you in pain. We don’t want to see you hiding indoors due to postnatal anxiety, or shying away from jumping on the trampoline with the kids because your pelvic floor can no longer handle the task.

We want you to be strong – physically and emotionally.

We want you to be a confident and connected mother – able to take the challenges of motherhood in your stride, to celebrate the joys with fervour, all the while knowing that your body and your mind remain resilient and capable of carrying you long into your future.

We know you can only do that if you’re well. And that, potentially, means you coming to see us.

It’s our job to convince you that we can help you, but it’s your job to invest in your own wellbeing.

Here’s the question I want you to ask yourself:

“Do I really value a beautiful Instagram-worthy nursery over the long term wellbeing and function of my own body and mind?”

I say this with love, because I truly believe it – but your money is better spent on supporting your wellbeing as a mother, than it is furnishing your nursery with pretty things.

I get it. I know how exciting it is to create the perfect nursery theme, to have all the latest baby gadgets with all the bells and whistles. But at the end of the day, they don’t compare to you being well, with you being emotionally resilient, with you avoiding a lifetime of incontinence.

Here’s something to consider:

If you choose the Boori Urbane Noosa Cot for $399, over the Boori Pioneer Cot for $699 – you would save $300 – that’s three one to one sessions with a Women’s Health Occupational Therapist or Physiotherapist.

If you choose the Baby Jogger City Mini GT for $799 over the Bugaboo Chameleon 3 for $1519 – you would save $720 – that’s 12 weeks of personal training sessions with a womens health specialist PT.

If you chose a Collette Pocket and Zip Baby Bag for $79 over the Mimco Splendiosa Baby Bag for $299 you would save $220 – that could buy you four weeks of professional housecleaning while you spend that first month getting to know your baby.

Finally, just remember this – within a few years all those baby blankets will go to Vinnies, the cot and the pram will be sold on Gumtree, but that body you’re inhabiting? That’s going to be with you for a lifetime. Invest in it wisely.

Until next time, Sarah

ps. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this article – comment away or email me at sarah@bloomwellbeing.com.au

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No, you don’t need a “Pilates Body” to do Pilates.

No, you don’t need a “Pilates Body” to do Pilates.

I’m a Pilates Instructor. I have a body.

But I do not have what would be considered a “Pilates Body”. I don’t really have to explain what a “Pilates Body” looks like, just type the words “Pilates Body” into Google images and see what the internet spits back at you.

I do not look like ANY of those images. Actually, sorry I take that back – there’s a few ‘before and after’ shots on the page, and my body probably does resemble some of those before shots.

In case we haven’t met before, here’s a picture of my Pilates Body (minus my head, which is what happens when a three year old gets hold of the camera!) I know it’s not really important that you know what I look like, but maybe it helps, so here you go:

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Check that lack of six pack, that lack of thigh gap, the squooshy boobs in an ill-fitting sports bra (it must have been laundry day!). I’d also really like to thank Miss Three for the shocking angle of this image. You’d never see a Pilates marketing photo from this angle!

In fact, when it comes to Pilates Body internet imagery you don’t even need to type the word “body”, just type “Pilates” into an image search and this is the body you’ll find. Young, blonde, female, long and lean. You’d be forgiven for thinking the only people who can or do practice Pilates are Australia’s Next Top Model contestants.

Why, when we type Pilates, don’t we see more women with bodies like mine? Or images of the 14 year old girl in her school sports uniform doing Pilates to address her scoliosis, or the 50 year old truck driver doing Pilates to recover from his back injury, or the 70 year old woman doing Pilates to keep strong after her osteoporosis diagnosis? And I know we see lots of pregnant bellies in crop tops and “Mummy and Me” Pilates – but those Mums are, by and large, quite “yummy” – there’s rarely any new Mums pictured in beige maternity bras with baby spew down their shirt and dark circles under their eyes due to lack of sleep. It’s all matching crop tops and leggings with bouncy pony tails and no hint of a “mum-tum” at all.

Pilates has an image problem. And the problem is the general public is only being presented with one image of Pilates.

Part of this is due to the fact that Pilates instructors are, overwhelmingly “Pilates Bodies” types – but that is slowly changing – here’s just a selection of a few instructors doing great things to promote body positive Pilates over on Instagram.So hopefully the stereotype of Pilates just being for the beautiful bodies is slowly changing.

But we still have a long way to go – and a lot of that rests on us as instructors to lead the charge. Just as @sixthstreetpilates, @grace.movement.pilates, @pilates.fbg and @sheofdc are doing.

At a women’s health conference I attended recently I was seated next to a lovely Pilates studio owner who did indeed have a ‘Pilates Body’, she was stunning – the workshop we were in was about marketing and naturally we got chatting about marketing our respective studios through social media, branding and imagery. This lovely lady had two studios, and while she said one just ticked along nicely through word of mouth, the second, inner city studio, was all about “the body beautiful”. That was the marketing strategy that drove attendance at that studio.

“It’s all about the body beautiful”, she said, “That’s what the clients want.”

I had to politely disagree. The “body beautiful” is what people who value the body beautiful want. But there are also people who value the “body functional”, the “body pain free”, the “body recovering from pregnancy”, to “body challenged to see what it can perform”, the “body that feels so much more relaxed after this one hour per week to myself”, the “body that just wants to stretch and move”, the “body who likes to hang out with friends in a space that’s not a pub”, or the “body who appreciates mindful movement”.

There are a hundred reasons why someone might start, and continue, a Pilates practice, the least important of which is rock hard abs.

Joseph Pilates, the creator of the Pilates method, wrote a book about his work. He named it “Return to Life Through Contrology*”, not “Return to Booty Through Contrology”. (*Contrology was what Joseph originally called his method, I guess he just wasn’t Kanye enough to personally name it after himself, his protégé’s named the method Pilates after his death.)

Pilates is about moving your body, and restoring it to functional movement patterns so that it can carry you through life. In the words of my lovely friend Taryn Brumfitt, of the Body Image Movement, “My body is not an ornament, it is the vehicle to my dreams”.

So if you have dreams, and you want your body to be strong, flexible and functional, in order to help you achieve them, maybe give Pilates a go. Even if you don’t have (or don’t want) a Pilates Body – you’ll fit in at my studio just fine!

Until next time – Sarah xx

ps. If you are keen to give pilates a go, and you’re close to me in western Adelaide – make sure you check out my “Buy five, get 10” discount – 10 classes for the price of five ($90). To book or check the schedule, click here.

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Is feminism to blame for the Women’s Stress Epidemic?

Is feminism to blame for the Women’s Stress Epidemic?

Why are women so stressed? Why are we getting sicker and sicker? Why are adrenal fatigue, anxiety and depression at an all time high? Why do we now face a concept known as “Rushing Women’s Syndrome”.

Why is the current state of women’s health so poor, when we have more resources than ever to supposedly keep us healthy?

It’s a difficult question to answer and there are so many variables for every woman experiencing overwhelming stress and dysfunction. But there are a few common threads, and in this interview, fellow Occupational Therapist, Jac Edser, and I have a candid discussion about what we see in our practices on a regular basis.

Occupational Therapists, Jac Edser (left) and Sarah Hausler.

Occupational Therapists, Jac Edser (left) and Sarah Hausler.

 

Here’s just a few of the topics we cover in this discussion:

  • Why there is a global stress epidemic facing women at this current time
  • Why women are more susceptible to stress than men
  • How the desire to “have it all” has contributed to our stress epidemic
  • Why the feminist movement has been both friend and foe
  • How we can be more in tune with our “feminine power” and utilise this, rather than trying to create more “masculine” energies which can create stress
  • The link between physical and emotional wellbeing
  • How we can learn to “listen to our bodies” to help attain optimal physical and emotional wellbeing.

(ps. we recorded this interview as a bonus for my Busy Women’s Stress Makeover program, but it’s so good I want to share it with everyone!)

Have a listen below, and don’t forget to let me know what you think of our chat. Did you have any “Aha!” moments. Did it confirm some of your gut feelings about your own life? Or do you disagree completely?

 

Thanks for listening!

Until next time, Live Your Best Life.

Cheers, Sarah xx

De-Stress for December

De-Stress for December

Wow! Can you believe it’s the last day in November! Yes, tomorrow officially marks the start of the crazy, hectic, silly season month we know as DECEMBER. Bah – bah – bahhhhh!!!!

Are you ready for it? Got the Christmas shopping done? Arranged the meal plan for Christmas day? Booked the caravan park for your Boxing Day getaway? Put in your Christmas leave form yet?

There’s always so much to do at this time of year. Family functions to endure. A million parties to dress up for. School concerts to attend. Kindy graduations. The list goes on.

It’s also a really, REALLY expensive time of year (at least it can be). All that primping and those new outfits for all those parties can add up!! Though if you’re like me you just give up on shopping for new threads and hope and pray you can still squeeze into last year’s party dress! Am I right?

Put all this together and what do you get?

STRESS!!!!

All wrapped up in shiny Christmas paper with a red bow on top. A great big parcel of stress. More unwanted than that foot-spa hubby got you last Christmas.

Stress is huge for many people this time of year, which is why I’ve created this totally FREE four part video mini training series “De-stress for December”.

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It’s four of my favourite little strategies for letting go of stress, and allowing yourself to have a stress-free, enjoyable holiday season.

Check it out on YouTube and get ready to relax these holidays!

De-stress for December – part one

De-stress for December – part two

De-stress for December – part three

De-stress for December – part four

 

Happy holidays and Merry (no-stress) Christmas!

Cheers, Sarah xx

 

ps. If you liked this video series, you really should check out my four week online stress management program, the Busy Woman’s Stress Makeover. It’s just $89 and it will lead you through an entire body-mind-soul stress transformation!