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How to talk to your tween about periods

How to talk to your tween about periods

Do you have woefully embarrassing memories of your mother trying to explain periods to you?

Do you cringe at the prospect of having to have this discussion with your own daughter?

 

As someone who’s been talking to tweens about periods pretty much non-stop for the past four years, and as the mother of two tween girls myself, I like to think that I’ve picked up a few hints and tips on how to navigate “the talk”.

I thought I might share some of my favourites, in the hope that it helps some parents out there to navigate these talks a bit more confidently. So here goes:

1: Talk early and talk often

Back in the “olden days” we used to be hauled into a private room by one of our parents and sat down to have “the talk”. But luckily this is changing now. How much new, big information can you fully take in from one single chat? The old notion of a single “big talk” is outdated. It doesn’t give kids time to digest and process information, or time to think of and ask questions they might have.  

Puberty changes are often happening earlier than you think as well, so chatting early and having smaller “bite-sized” discussions more regularly can help kids get important information early in their puberty journey, as well as regular opportunities to ask questions. 

2: Don’t make a big deal about it

There’s no need to find the perfect time or environment to have a chat – there’s no need to preface a conversation with a big “this is important!” statement. Keep your tone conversational and light. Children can easily get anxious or nervous if it seems like a big chat is coming – which might mean they get defensive, or don’t engage in the conversation as much as they might otherwise.  

3: Talk side-by-side, not face-to-face

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about kids and teens, it’s that nothing shuts them down faster than someone sitting opposite them, staring them down! It’s like being sent to the Principal’s office! So attempt to engage them in conversations while you’re sitting side by side on the couch, or while driving them around in the car. Car chats are completely under-rated!

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.com.​4: Find natural teaching moments in your everyday life: 

Are you buying tampons at the supermarket? Then mention – “oop, better grab some tampons as my period is due to start soon”. Or are you feeling a bit PMS-ish? “I’m feeling a bit moody today, I think my period is due tomorrow.” By talking openly about periods and puberty, we can help to remove the stigma and taboo around these topics. It may feel foreign for us at first, but that’s just because society has so ingrained in us the notion that “we don’t talk about these things!!”. It’s up to us as a generation to break that notion down. 

5: Answer questions factually, simply and in the moment: 

We can often get nervous when answering the curly questions kids have. That’s often because we feel like we need to answer that question with “the big talk” I mentioned in point one. But my advice is to offer a brief, factual explanation – eg. Question: “What’s a period” – Answer: “It’s when a woman has blood coming out of her vagina for about a week, it happens once a month to most teenagers and women.” That’s it! Leave the answer there for now – if they look confused – you can ask “Do you want to know more about this?” – or you might ask them a follow up question “What makes you ask that?”, or “Have you been learning about periods somewhere?” – But it’s likely they might come up with their own follow up question – or perhaps will just say “okay”, shrug and walk away! Like I said in point one – you don’t need this moment to be the “big talk” – perhaps it’s just the first of many little talks! 

 

So there you go – I hope these tips prove helpful for you in the “not a big chat – just one of many smaller chats” you’re about to have! If you haven’t already, make sure you download our Period Products Explained eBook and have a read through with your daughter or the young woman you’re supporting. It has been specifically written to be factual, straight forward and free from potentially confusing language – so it’s especially great for girls with autism, other neurodivergence, or intellectual disability; it provides a great knowledge base for your child to then choose which products she might like to use when she first gets her period. 

 

If you have any questions about the eBook, please make a comment, or send an email to groups@bloomwellbeing.com.au and let us know. 

 

Cheers,  Sarah 

 

What to expect at your child’s Occupational Therapy assessment

What to expect at your child’s Occupational Therapy assessment

If you’re the parent of a child who has been referred to an Occupational Therapist for support, then chances are you’re not quite sure what to expect from the process. Unless you’ve had a child undertake Occupational Therapy in the past, or have been close to someone else who has, you may not know exactly what’s going to happen in those first few sessions.

Today’s post is all about the paediatric OT assessment. The good news is, an OT assessment is likely to be the most fun assessment your child will ever undertake. Many of the tools we use are play-based, because we use play as our primary means of therapy and of understanding a child’s functional skill level. But it’s also important to remember that any time a child, or their parent, meets a new therapist it can be a little nerve-wracking, especially if you don’t know what to expect. So here’s a few notes on what’s likely to happen in the OT assessment process.

Before the assessment:

A pre-screening questionnaire:

Many Occupational Therapists, including those at Bloom Wellbeing, will ask parents to complete a pre-screening form prior to the assessment day – which you will either return prior to the assessment, or bring with you on the day. This questionnaire is likely to have questions about your child’s medical and social history and development, as well as questions about their strengths and weaknesses, and any goals you have for OT intervention. This questionnaire is an opportunity for us to gain relevant background information from the parent or guardian which will help to inform our assessment process. It’s useful for parents or guardians to fill this out in advance, as it gives you the chance to think through your answers, and it also saves a lot of time in the clinic room during the assessment.

During the in-clinic assessment:

Firstly, you should know that an Occupational Therapy “clinic room” doesn’t really look very “clinical” – it actually looks like a big playroom – with movement based play equipment, and a range of toys are games to engage your child. It’s a great idea to make sure your child is wearing clothes suitable for play – things that are easy to move around in and something you don’t mind getting dirty (ie covered in finger pain or shaving cream!); shorts, pants or leggings are better options than dresses and skirts to allow free movement; layers are handy in case your child gets warm during activities; and socks are a great option for hygiene, as we do a lot of activities without shoes.

 

It’s also important to understand that the assessment process can take 2 to 3 sessions – particularly if there is a separate parent interview undertaken.

Parent interview:

The Occupational Therapist is likely to want to discuss in a little more detail the information you provided in your pre-screening – this helps to clarify any important sections, or to perhaps provide additional information for other areas. At Bloom Wellbeing, we prefer this first session parent interview to be held with just the Occupational Therapist and parent/guardian – without the child present. This means the parent can talk freely about their concerns and queries, without little ears listening in. It also means that during the first child-based session, the Occupational Therapist can be fully focused on the child, undertaking activities together.

Play assessment:

You may be wondering why the OT seems to just be playing make-believe with your child, rather than assessing them. However, when the OT is down on the floor playing, they’re actually observing your child’s play skills closely. They will be looking at different components of your child’s play, including the play themes they use, how they use objects during play and the creation of play storylines.

Gross motor skills assessment:

“Gross” motor skills refer to the big body movements your child undertakes. Tasks such as walking, running, jumping, throwing, crawling, dancing, rolling, sitting down, standing up and balancing all fall into this category. These tasks may be assessed through a standardised assessment such as the “Movement ABC” assessment, or it may be conducted through skilled observation of your child undertaking these type of tasks, and relating them back to age-based skill expectations.

Fine motor skills assessment:

“Fine” motor skills generally relate to tasks your child undertakes with their hands – including drawing, colouring, playing with small items, using cutlery, doing up buttons and zips, or tying shoelaces. As for gross motor skills, these fine motor skills might be assessed with a formal assessment tool such as the “Movement ABC” – or it might be conducted informally through engaging your child in a range of age-scaled fine motor tasks – such as playing with marbles, threading beads, playing with lego or cutting shapes out of paper.

Visual-motor co-ordination assessment:

This part of the assessment concerns how well your child’s vision and motor skills work together – you’re probably familiar with the term “hand-eye co-ordination” – and this is part of visual motor co-ordination. This task is likely to be a pencil and paper assessment, such as the Beery Buktenica Development Test of Visual Motor Integration.

Handwriting assessment:

If your child is at pre-school or school age their OT assessment may include a handwriting component. This generally consists of pencil and paper tasks, including drawing “pre-writing shapes” (eg. Lines, curves, squares, circles), and writing words and numbers such as their name, age, the alphabet, or the name of their school.

Sensory processing assessment:

The Occupational Therapist will be very interested in understanding how your child processes sensory information, which includes the five senses of touch, sight, hearing, taste and smell, as well as two additional senses: proprioception (related to body awareness) and vestibular awareness (related to balance and position in space). Difficulties with sensory processing can often create difficult behaviours for children, which can impact their ability to participate in general activities. You will likely be asked to fill in an online form, such as the Sensory Processing Measure, for the OT to score afterwards. If your child is at school the OT may also send a link to an assessment for their classroom teacher to fill out, if their sensory issues appear to be impacting them at school. Once the OT has an understanding of the sensory profile and needs of a child, it helps them to better plan therapy sessions and provide advice on how to support your child’s sensory needs in their daily life – such as at home, at school, or out in public places such as shopping centres.

After the assessment:

Assessment report:

After the 2-3 assessment appointments are complete, your Occupational Therapist will start writing a full assessment report. Depending on your child’s needs and situation, you may be able to choose whether you want a brief report, outlining basic score results and providing brief information on goals and therapy suggestions; or a more detailed report, which more thoroughly explains the results and observations taken during the assessment, as well as more specific goals and therapy considerations. When deciding which option to choose you will need to consider how much information you might need – for example, do you need a full report to apply for NDIS funding? Or are you simply after some general suggestions on minor issues? Be aware that it is very difficult to come back and write a full report more than a few weeks out from the assessment, and most Occupational Therapy providers will not be able to offer a full written assessment report a few months on from the assessment, without re-administering at least some components of the assessment.

The assessment report will generally be complete within 2 weeks of the final assessment session taking place.

However, this may be delayed if the OT is awaiting the return of online assessment forms (such as the SPM) from parents or teachers.

Recommendations and Therapy Plan:

The purpose of an Occupational Therapy assessment is to not only give you information on where your child is at with regard to their development and functional abilities, but to make suggestions for therapy which will help them to further develop in any areas where they might currently be lacking, particularly with regard to their current NDIS goals, if they have an NDIS plan. Following an assessment and report, an OT will discuss with you the potential therapy options available, which might including the duration and frequency of treatment – eg once a week, once a fortnight; the location most suitable for therapy – eg in the clinic or at school or childcare; and the sort of activities that will provide best results, eg. sensory integration therapy, a developmental movement program, or an emotional regulation program. Remember Occupational Therapy is a collaborative process between your child, you and the therapist (and perhaps their teacher or child carer worker), so it’s important you work together to achieve the best possible outcomes for your child.

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Why is the assessment split into two to three sessions?

An Occupational Therapy assessment can be a lengthy process, and as such at Bloom Wellbeing we split the process over two one hour sessions, after the first parent interview session. In special circumstances it is possible to complete the assessment in a single extended appointment, however we prefer not to do this, for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, although many of our tasks seem like play and fun, they can still be taxing on little bodies and brains, so we don’t want to overload your little one with too many new experiences all at once. Secondly, each assessment component is best undertaken when your child is feeling focused and content – if we try to cram too much into one session, it’s likely they may start to become tired, grumpy or quite simply “over it” in which case the assessment results might not be indicative of their true abilities. Thirdly – having a two part assessment gives the therapist two opportunities to get to know your child and build rapport with them – the first appointment can sometimes be overwhelming for your child, so having two sessions helps your child get to know the therapist, which means that hopefully by the second session they have already built a small connection to the therapist, and are more comfortable in their presence – this too gives the therapist an opportunity to see and assess your child at their best. Finally – having a two part assessment gives the Occupational Therapist time to think! An Occupational Therapy assessment covers many different areas of development, and the OT will not always know before the assessment exactly which areas of development are of most concern. Many of the assessment components interlink with different skills or areas, so during the assessment, the OT will constantly be looking for different markers or activity examples related to your assessment and child’s development. Having a break between assessment components gives the OT the opportunity to spend longer focusing on one area of development, or to introduce another assessment component they might need to add after their initial observations.

All of these reasons are also the reasons we try (wherever possible) to ensure that the Occupational Therapist that undertakes your child’s assessment will be the same OT to continue to deliver therapy services on an ongoing basis. The assessment process is the first opportunity for a therapist to build a rapport with your child. We build trust and connection in these first sessions, and this serves both your child and the OT – for your child, they will be starting therapy with a person they’ve already met, and for the OT, they will have already gathered a huge amount of information about your child which will help them plan some wonderful initial therapy sessions.

Phew! I know that’s a lot to take in, so well done if you made it this far into the post! Remember that every OT clinic is a little different – they may structure their assessments differently to how we do it at Bloom Wellbeing, or they may use different assessments and tools. Additionally, every therapist, child and parent is different, so in that respect, no two assessments are ever going to be exactly alike. But hopefully this post has given you a lot more information, and in turn a little more confidence, about what to expect when you go for your child’s assessment.

Cheers, Sarah

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Why do Occupational Therapists LOVE messy play?

Why do Occupational Therapists LOVE messy play?

Something we do a lot of here at Bloom Wellbeing with our paediatric Occupational Therapy crew is “Messy Play” – in any given session one of our kiddos can be found elbow deep in gloop, slime, paint, mud or shaving cream.

And while it probably makes more work for parents in the laundry, messy play is actually a fantastic task for all children. As an Occupational Therapist (OT), I’m a big believer in providing a wide range of play opportunities for all children of all ages. Messy play is a winner on so many fronts, not the least because the majority of children absolutely love it!

The fun factor is definitely a big plus in our OT eyes – we always strive to make our sessions super fun – kids learn and develop through play – so we use play to help them learn and develop. For 99pc of our clients, they can’t wait to get back into the OT room for their next session to see what fun stuff they’re going to be doing this week.

So yes, the fun, fun, fun is important, but here’s a quick roundup of several of the other reasons we love, love, love messy play.

Messy Play supports children’s physical development:

  • The sensory experience of messy play helps children build body awareness, build fine motor skills, finger and hand strength and dexterity and improve hand-eye co-ordination. To build on this, we encourage the use of lots of tools within the sensory play, such as using utensils, filling and pouring from cups, and ‘writing’ with tools.

Messy Play supports children’s communication and language development:

  • Messy play offers lots of opportunities to talk and communicate. We speak with your child about how the activity feels – talk about the sensations they’re experiencing, colours, the actions – we use lots of describing words. Eg. “Wow, feel how fluffy this foam feels, look at this enormous/tiny/squiggly circle you drew, this slime is sloppy and bright green”.

Messy Play supports the development of children’s creative play skills

  • Creative play is another area where lots of children struggle, and messy play is the perfect medium for creating vivid, unexpected play stories. For example, if we add a few mini Mac Trucks to a stack of shaving foam it instantly transforms into a blizzard, if we add a few plastic frogs to a pile of green gloop it can become a swamp, deep inside a spooky forest.

Messy Play supports children’s emotional and social development:

  • There are no rules in messy play, there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do it, so children can have the freedom to experiment, explore and create in their own time, without feeling the pressure of “getting something right”. This can build confidence and self esteem.
  • Messy play is also a great sensory outlet for emotions – such as joy, anger, frustration, excitement.
  • Messy play can also have a calming influence for children. The sensory and repetitive nature of some activities can help children focus their attention, increasing mindfulness, which is a powerful tool to reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms in both children and adults.

Messy Play supports children’s intellectual and mathematical development:

  • Messy play also provides opportunities to build foundational academic skills, including concepts such counting, measuring, mixing colours, sorting, creating patterns, predicting and observing outcomes, cause and effect, etc. It may not seem like they’re learning – but they definitely are!

 

How to embrace more messy play:

Remember that messy play is really important for your children’s development, but most of all it’s FUN! As parents we can get so caught up in making sure we do all the right things for our children’s development, but messy play is one activity we can simply set up and enjoy – we don’t need to think too much about it!

Here’s some tips for making it easier (on us as parents!):

  • Set the activity up in an area you don’t mind getting messy – eg on the patio, on the lawn, or cover the kitchen table with a plastic tablecloth.
  • Have a drawer full of older messy play clothes for your kids, or let your kids play in their bathers or undies if the weather is warm enough
  • Make sure you prepare lots of towels, paper towels, face washers, and fresh sets of clothes before you start the activity, to make clean up quicker and easier.

Easy ideas for messy play at home:

Finger painting: use any kind of paint, or make your own (see recipes below) – add lots of other sensory items, both for the actual painting eg. Different sponges, squirty bottles, cotton balls, and also sensory items to add to the paint mixture, eg glitter, sand, sequins

  • Basic paint: One cup plain flour, one cup of water, add food colouring
  • Puffy paint: ¾ cup shaving cream, ¼ cup white glue, ¼ cup plain flour, food colour

Gloop/slime – kids LOVE this one. Here are a couple of recipes – they require hot water – so use caution when preparing and make sure you check the temperatures before allowing children to play with it.

Mix together 1 cup of lux flakes and 3 cups of hot/boiling water – whisk together in a big bowl until light and fluffy – this mix will thicken up overnight. Let your kids explore different textures by adding food colouring, sprinkles or glitter.

Shaving cream – cover a smooth surface with shaving cream and let your children explore the texture with their hands – they might want to create patterns, write letters or shapes, draw pictures, or move their hands through the foam in random movements, or pile the foam into big mounds. You can use a table covered with a plastic table cloth, or use shaving cream on different surfaces – a great option is to use a large window or sliding glass door – the vertical surface helps to build upper body strength and core strength at the same time.

From the pantry – have you got a big pack of uncooked rice, split peas or pasta shells, these are all good for messy, sensory play. Pop  a few tiny objects in the tub and have your children try to find them using their hands.

The old faithfuls – such as playdough, finger paint and kinetic sand – you can get these all pretty cheaply from department or toy stores these days.

Other ideas:

Playing outside – channel your inner Peppa Pig and get them jumping in muddy puddles, water and sand tables are a great resource – I think every home should have one – they can fit in even the smallest yards, sandpits – at home if you have space, or at the local park – or the greatest sandpit of all – the beach! These offer great opportunities for children to get messy “all over their body” which provides great sensory input.

Cooking – kids of all ages love cooking! Think about tasks which allow them to use their hands, such as kneading dough for homemade pizzas, or pouring handfuls of sprinkles onto cupcakes. Just make sure they wash their hands before cooking! As a bonus, getting fussy eaters involved in the food preparation might even help them be more inclined to try a new food.

Eating – for those of you who have babies or young toddlers, remember that messy eating is a good thing! When children are first exploring new foods it’s important for them to play and explore their food – with their hands and mouths – encouraging increased exploration can help improved children’s willingness to try different foods later on through the lifespan. Think about it this way – if a child isn’t sure about touching a food with their fingers, is it any wonder they’re unsure about putting it into their mouths? Get them to touch and explore their food.

Self care – have your children help rub in their own sunscreen or body lotions, or lather their own shampoo in the bath, let them pop extra bubble bath in the tub to make bubble beards and mohawks. Remember – the name of the game is fun!

Well that’s it from me on the topic of messy play for today. The most important thing is to not overthink it – just channel your own inner child and have fun!

Until next time,

Sarah

The truth about “educational” toys.

The truth about “educational” toys.

As an OT I’m often asked about what the best “educational” toys are for kids.

My answer might surprise you.

Check out my latest blog post over on Mum Central here.

But before you do. Check out this 100pc AMAZING dolls house I saw at David Jones today.

The Lundby Stockholm Dolls House. I'm in love...

The Lundby Stockholm Dolls House. I’m in love…

And yes, dolls houses are on my list!

Better get cracking – only 7 shopping days left till Christmas….

Until next time,

Sarah xx

 

Occupational Therapy for Mums?

Occupational Therapy for Mums?

“So you’re a Occupational Therapist for Mums? I thought OTs just worked with kids?”

This is a comment I get quite a lot! Mostly because the field of Women’s Health OT is pretty new – particularly in the area of post-natal wellbeing. But that’s cool, because while it means that “OT for Mums” is not well known, it’s super-exciting (for me at least!).

So while you may not have heard much about the work OTs do with Mums, we can and do play a vital role – particularly for new Mums adjusting to the enormous demands of being a parent.

Becoming a Mum is about so much more than just caring for a baby. It’s also about caring for yourself. Creating, learning, developing and nurturing your new “occupation” of motherhood – it’s a lot more involved than simply changing nappies and choosing the right brand of stroller!

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Motherhood is an occupation so vast that it changes EVERY single aspect of your life. Physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually – you are never quite the same person you were once you’ve become a Mum. And you’ll never be the same again.

It’s an enormous adjustment on so many levels. And, unfortunately, in today’s society we don’t live in the “village” culture of yesteryear where we would observe and instinctually learn all we need to know about being a Mum from the other women around us.

This is why new Mums in our society need to seek out this support and professional advice. Which is where Occupational Therapy comes in.

At its heart, the profession of Occupational Therapy is all about helping people to function optimally in the different roles within their life – and what more important role is there than being a Mum?

As a mum of two young girls myself, I am passionate about post-natal health and wellbeing.

Throughout my work and personal life, I’ve seen first hand the impact of pregnancy, childbirth and parenting on the emotional and physical wellbeing and functioning of new mums. Mostly positive impacts, but sadly, there are so often also negative impacts. And these negative impacts can be life altering if women aren’t provided with the right support, information and guidance on how to adjust to, and overcome, these impacts.

Which is why I created Bloom Wellbeing, my Women’s Health OT private practice. With 15 years of experience as an OT in the fields of vocational rehabilitation, mental health and physical rehabilitation, I realised I could use my knowledge and experience from these varied areas, and apply them to the specific needs of new mums. All those skills and all that knowledge I’d learned could be used to help new Mums overcome many of the physical and emotional conditions common to post-natal women.

Through Bloom Wellbeing it’s my ultimate goal to recreate that “village”, to support women to adjust to the physical and emotional demands of motherhood. To bring women together, to share information, guidance and support, with the main aim being to assist women to avoid or recover from injuries, or simply improve their general health and wellbeing after having a baby.

I’d love for you to join me in this village!

Cheers, Sarah